Technology has always been idolized as a mean to give us support in life but not to become co-dependent on it. Along with the luxurious lifestyle that comes with technology there are also issue as to how it affects us psychologically. As Robert E. Prasch, a professor of economics states,“...Not everyone needs a high-definition television set or an iPod, for example. Yet there are technologies that have so woven their way into the fabric of civilization that few people can do without them” (Prasch). Children nowadays are being exposed to technology prematurely which at the time hasn't allowed them to fully understand the beneficial needs of the purpose of how they can truly utilize technology. Adolescent children today just use technology for just sheer entertainment as opposed to them being regulated on proper uses of technology to further develop their knowledge.
There is no doubt that technology has significantly altered our course of history, although whether or not it is currently now changing for the better is questionable for the well-being of society. The ineffectiveness of our actual need for technology comes from the insufficiency in the new inventions of technology today compared towards the previous ones that have actually had more quality purpose in them. For example, things developed during the Industrial Revolution had a greater significant purpose than the small little gadgets today that are more directed towards entertainment use.
Transportation development back in the day was something huge and out of the general thinking paths of most people, when we developed cars, trains, planes, etc, it provided drastic change towards living for the greater good. Now, today’s usual inventions are what inclines to us becoming lazier and less reliant on our own natural abilities. Things such as creativity are what helps us develop more useful inventions and better shape the future of society. If these luxurious products continue to hinder our natural progress of development we may be in some serious trouble in the future.
Therefore, I believe for one we should be focused more on health safety than things like the latest iPhone, sure they are nice and all, but how will they contribute to general well-being of society?
"Introduction to Technology and Society: Opposing Viewpoints." Techology and Society. Ed. David Haugen and Susan Musser. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2007. Opposing Viewpoints. Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 7 Nov. 2012. <http://ic.galegroup.com.libproxy.howardcc.edu/ic/ovic/ReferenceDetailsPage/ReferenceDetailsWindow?displayGroupName=Reference&disableHighlighting=true&search_within_results=&prodId=OVIC&action=2&catId=&documentId=GALE%7CEJ3010234130&userGroupName=colu91149&jsid=17605f7e7567f6ec777feebe394052e3>
(Central argument 418)
Topic Sentence-Topic sentences need work to fit the paragraph better.
ReplyDeleteSupport-The support you gave was decent.
Transitions-Good transitions.
Quote-In the citation you are missing the page/paragraph number.
Grammar and Spelling-"Now, today’s usual inventions are what inclines to us becoming lazier and less reliant on our own natural abilities." this sentence felt awkward. perhaps multiple tenses.
Strong Argument-Great topic, it needs more support though.
Suggestion-Give more information on the source/person you quote. That way readers will know they are a reliable source and not some person who is just talking.
Overall great work, Enite! Can't wait to see later posts.
Topic sentence - Your topic sentences have good ideas behind them, but they are a little hard to follow. Try to reword them to make them a little smoother.
ReplyDeleteSupport - Could use more support. Facts and figures, etc.
Transitions - The transition into the last paragraph is good.
Quote (in "quote sandwich" format with proper MLA citation) - good quote, but you just say it is from "a professor." What professor? Is he an expert on this topic? Try to give more than just "a professor."
Grammar and spelling - Several run-on sentences.
Strong argument - Interesting topic. Seems like you could argue this really well. You just need more facts for support.
One compliment: I love how you ended with a question that really makes your reader think about your topic and want to read more.
One suggestion: Look for some more solid facts to add. Statistics, studies, etc. It will strengthen your argument.
Enite,
ReplyDeleteTopic Sentence: Strong, but I think that the first sentence in second paragraph would work better as a topic sentence.
Support: Support works for the first paragraph, but it does not need to be italicized. Add more support throughout the post.
Transitions: Transitions are great! Try adding an additional quote that relates to the one in the first paragraph.
Quote: Quote is properly cited with the citation at the bottom. Your quote does not need to be italicized.
Grammar and spelling: Great, some words need to be plural. You mentioned “things” and “society,” try to be more specific and not just general.
Strong argument: You have a good argument, but you don’t seem too passionate about technology taking over.
Compliment: Very organized and to the point. Good job!
Suggestion: Add more support and quotes in your post! Your post is not 350 words. Add length!
topic- your topic sentence could use a little work doesn't really flow that well.
ReplyDeleteSupport- you had okay details given but could use a little more support,kinda lost
Transition- good transitions
quotes- properly sited !!!
Grammar & spelling- check for run on sentences and possible errors.
I like what you are arguing. just should add more details to your work thanks